There's a chill in the air and a fire in the hearth, and once again it's time for the holiday we call Christmas, or the "mid-winter festival of celebration" as it is now known in the politically hypersensitive Public School System.

Modern holiday traditions have origins in the Middle Ages. I had originally intended to present a scholarly review of the socio-theological influence of medieval holidays upon modern Christmas celebrations, but frankly, coming up with the term "socio-theological" has pretty much exhausted my research abilities, so instead, I'll just make up a bunch of stuff.

I'm Dreaming Of A Viking Christmas
Many of our holiday customs come from the Vikings who, every spring sailed south to share their wise, gentle traditions with other cultures and to steal everything that wasn't nailed down. The Norse had many traditions associated with their "Yule" holiday, most of which involved (I am not kidding here) setting things on fire.

One of the most popular Viking traditions was the Yule wheel. This was a giant wooden wheel constructed to honor the god Frey, the sun god. After building this great wheel, the Vikings would soak it in pitch, light it ablaze, and roll it down the biggest hillside they could find. Often the Vikings would discover, after rolling the Yule wheel, that someone had foolishly built a house at the bottom of this hill. "Oops!" the Vikings would shout, then they would rush down the hill to loot the wreckage.

Who You Callin' A Bowl Of Jelly, Punk?
Central to our modern celebration of Christmas is Santa Claus, who, when archeologists someday uncover the remains of our society, will probably be thought of as some sort of god of unbridled avarice and consumer credit spending. Our perception of Santa Claus comes from several sources throughout the Middle Ages, but primarily from the image of the god Odin.

Both Santa Claus and Odin are stout old men dressed in furs with white hair and long beards. Like Santa, Odin is all-seeing, but whereas Santa uses his ability to make sure you're being good, Odin looks to see when you're not paying attention so he can sail his longship into your harbor, raid your village and abduct your women. Also, both ride sleighs, but while Santa's sleigh is drawn by eight cute, cuddly "reindeer" perfect for mass merchandising as plush toys, Odin"s sleigh is pulled by fire-breathing goats with glowing red eyes which are missing various body parts as though they've been through several bar fights.

Smooch A Celt For Christmas
For the Celts, mistletoe was considered sacred because its dense greenery flourished during the winter, even though in reality it was surviving by leeching the life-blood from the established oak, slowly choking the otherwise mighty host. Any perceived similarities between mistletoe and Celtic culture are purely coincidental, I'm sure. The Celts believed that anyone who kissed beneath mistletoe would share in its fertility. Many parents in the Middle Ages, as they still do today, watched as starry-eyed lads and lasses met beneath a sprig of greenery hung in the great hall. And while the youngsters tenderly embraced, the adults would utter those timeless words which are so often spoken at this special time of year: "Not with my daughter you don't!"

About Author

Guillaume continues his own medieval holiday tradition every year by trying to feed his Christmas guests a fruitcake which archeologists believe was baked in 1348 A.D. Guillaume's column, "I Didn't Expect An Inquisition," which is frequently written under the influence of too much egg nog, appears monthly in the SCA newsletter "The Crown Prints". You can e-mail him at